Frank, Wayne, and Alexander
Frank, Wayne, & Alexander is a short story written in 2014. The story mainly takes place in Townsburgville City. Synopsis Frank is a boy who lives in Townsburgville City with his pets: a horse named Wayne and a gerbil. When Frank leaves from his dinner to get a drink, Wayne tries to prank him by putting pink glitter on his spaghetti. However, Frank doesn't even notice. Frank rather pays attention to the new animal in the room: a possum in his garbage can, which he feeds to his gerbil. This makes the gerbil act strangely, howling like a wolf. Frank checks on the gerbil, and finds that there is an unknown cat in the gerbil's cage, while the gerbil is sitting at the computer. Frank, Wayne, and the gerbil take a walk in the forest. A monkey on a motorcycle approaches the three and challenges them to a round of golf, but he is quickly eliminated by a refrigerator that falls from a nearby refrigerator tree.This refrigerator contains a frozen peacock, which the trio soon learns is actually a genie peacock who grants them one wish, albeit incorrectly, before vanishing. Frank suddenly realizes he is holding a letter containing a strange message pertaining to a cheese wheel. The three then visit a bacon farm and meet a toaster and a farmer. They then find a wild sentient cheese wheel, which when eaten by the gerbil, kills the gerbil. Frank and Wayne go to a horse burger stand, where Wayne dies from being grilled. Frank goes home and forgets about his dead pets. He tries to make a sandwich but realizes he's missing an ingredient. So he returns to the bacon farm and the horse burger stand and retrieves his pets, who are miraculously alive again. Here, the three reunite with the toaster and the bacon farmer. A man giving away free lice, advertised as free rice, approaches the trio. He offers Wayne some "rice," and is promptly kicked. The gerbil then tells Frank that he needs a name. He offers Frank a variety of naming options, but Frank chooses to name him Alexander, which was not on the list. The newly-named Alexander gets frustrated and flees to a bowling alley. However, at the bowling alley, he is treated like a bowling ball by a crazy cat lady, who gets a strike and elopes with a hipster. The cat lady forgets her cats, and they attack Alexander. However, Alexander flees on his mighty ostrich steed. Frank and Wayne chase Alexander and the ostrich all the way to the horse burger stand, where the ostrich gets cooked by the chef and eaten by Alexander and Wayne. Here, the genie peacock reappears. The chef tries to attack the peacock, but the bacon farmer throws the toaster at the chef. The bacon farmer wishes for oysters, but receives clams and refuses them. The bacon farmer then eats Wayne. Frank goes home and plays Pokémon on his DS. He enters the game and finds Nurse Joy dead. He goes out of the game and finds Wayne and Alexander. He takes them into the game and resurrects them. They then exit the game and go to the North Pole. All three of them die of various causes. Frank survives the longest, dying only after being chased by a snow fox that dies from eating a rabbit. Unknown men take Frank, Wayne, and Alexander into a Pokémon Center that, for some reason, exists at the North Pole. Frank awakens at an Italian restaurant with his pets, who are already eating. They reveal that they have spent all his money, so he abandons them and goes home. At home, he finds a winged horse whom he mistakes for Wayne. He wakes up in his math class, realizing that the entire adventure was a dream, but quickly falls asleep as his teacher asks him a question. Back in his dream, he rides the horse and finds Wayne and Alexander in an alleyway. The peacock appears in the alley and grants Wayne's wish, which was that Wayne and Alexander could make it up to Frank. Frank wakes up in the classroom, and Wayne and Alexander are there with him. They exchange memories, but when Frank mentions the various deaths, the other two become confused. Upon mention of the ostrich's death, Alexander becomes frustrated, but quickly realizes he likes turtles more than ostriches. So the three go to the pet store. Alexander is eaten, and the animal that eats him is eaten, and this continues until the final consumer is humans eating a hamburger. Wayne gets a carrot stuck on his forehead and Frank no longer recognizes him. Alexander falls from the sky and reveals that he was skydiving while Frank and Wayne took his cousin to the pet store. Frank then sees the cat lady and hipster. They are no longer cat lady and hipster, they are now billionaires with a son, William. Frank kills William, so the billionaires adopt him and decide to sell his pets. Frank, Wayne, and Alexander run to their home. Frank and Wayne wake up and find Alexander dead. So they go to the border between Townsburgville City and Citiesvilleburg Town. Here Wayne dies. Frank continues into Citiesvilleburg Town and faints. Someone taps him on the shoulder, but he does not awaken. He has died.